The First Round of Voting Explained

If you’re confused about what’s going on in states across the country that have already “voted,” fear not, you’re not alone.

There’s a great word for this kind of mess – clusterf**k.  To add to it, you can’t find any of this information in one spot itemized out for you.  Which at this point would help the Republicans figure out what the heck they’re trying to do.

So this is an effort to help you figure out where and what the problems are.

I’ve got your back, Jack.

First things first – let me explain a Caucus only because I think they’re a waste of energy, and I’m all about being Green:

Precinct caucuses are local neighborhood meetings of registered voters held every general election year.  At each precinct caucus meeting, a Presidential preference poll is held, local political party leaders are selected, and delegates to county and district assemblies are elected.  Delegates chosen at precinct caucuses will vote in later political party assemblies to designate partisan candidates to the primary election ballot for U.S. Congress, the state legislature, and other district and county offices. Delegates to State and Congressional district assemblies will also vote to elect delegates to national political conventions and will vote on political party platforms.

With the exception of the Republican candidates for President and Vice-President who are nominated at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida in August 2012, registered Republican voters will then have the opportunity to vote on the Republican candidates designated to the primary election ballot by party assembly or by petition in connection with the June 26, 2012 primary election.(thanks to www.cologop.org for this.  Click here to learn more of the insanity)

Did we get that?  You vote but you don’t really vote.  You show up at 7:00PM at your precinct for basically a town hall meeting.  And this is only for Presidential Primary Season, are we seeing a problem?  Yes?  Good.  Moving on… (I’m from California, we don’t have these crazy nonsensical ideas!)

Before I handle Super Tuesday, (which isn’t that Super this cycle and has major stupidity going on in the Santorum camp – guess they couldn’t figure out the paperwork) here goes:

Arizona:  Check this one off your list – no drama (even though they did lose half their delegates).  Winner takes all, 29 goes to Romney, and here ends the simplicity.

Colorado:  (Crazy Caucus State) – no winner takes all:  Santorum won with 40.2% of the vote and gets 18 Delegates.  Romney came in second with 34.7% of the vote and gets 9 Delegates.  (No one cares about Gingrich or Paul.)

Florida:  Lost half their delegates due to a penalty from RNC, now only have 50 to award.  Can Florida ever have a normal election?  Seriously – quit it you purple tropical lushes!  Romney won.  BUT it was supposed to be winner takes all this year, turns out you can’t do that – so Gingrich is contesting in this state…  Jury’s still out and cross-eyed from looking at hanging chads.

Iowa: (Crazy Caucus state)  Iowa, oh, Iowa, wherefore art my Iowa?  No really, whom are you going for?  Give me something here…Romney?  Nope, Santorum?  Wait, Romney?  I’m so confused!!!  After all the flip-flopping for a winner, it came down to…Santorum, with an amazing 34 votes more.  I didn’t forget the zero at the end – when Mom says that every vote counts – she meant it.

Iowa sends 25 pledged delegates to the RNC, and three unpledged delegates.  It’s looking like those 25 pledged delegates could be split up thusly:

Option 1:  Santorum – 13, Romney – 12

Option 2: Santorum – 7, Romney – 7, Paul – 7, Gingrich – 2

Maine: (Crazy Caucus State)  Romney Wins!  Aaaaaand this just in – Paul contesting based on bias due to snowstorm.  Figured that out…Romney wins a second time and gets 11 delegates, Paul gets 10, and Santorum gets 3.  (No love for Gingrich.)

Michigan:  Lost half their delegates for holding contests outside of the RNC-approved timeframe and now only have 30 to award.  Was supposed to split delegates 50/50 between Romney and Santorum, but alas, after the election the party decided “just kidding, we wanted it the other way!”   Romney wins by a nose (and a sacred cow’s one at that for his campaign) getting 16 delegates, Santorum gets 14.

Minnesota:  (Crazy Caucus State, but one of the few with everything together)  Santorum wins getting 25 delegates, Paul gets 9, Romney gets 2, and Gingrich gets 1.  Yay, everyone’s a winner!!!

Missouri:  Non-binding Primary in a Caucus state.  Simply put: had an election, didn’t mean a damn thing.  The 52 delegates will get distributed on March 17th, when they hold another round of elections (in caucus form this time).  I thought Republicans were against wasteful spending?

New Hampshire:  Had a penalty from RNC, 12 delegates reduced from 23.  Romney won, got 7, Paul got 3, and 2 are left unpledged.

Nevada: (Another Crazy Caucus State)  Took more than two days to figure out what was going on here…  Had a caucus for the whole state, then had another one after everyone else was done – talk about missing the bus.  Romney wins and gets 14, Gingrich get 6, Paul gets 5, and Santorum comes in last with 3.

South Carolina:  Another reduced by half penalty from the RNC – 25 delegates of 50 available.  Gingrich has massive win, getting 23 and Romney gets the other lone 2.

Washington:  The poor people standing out in the cold!  Oh, you didn’t hear about this?  How could you, you were one of the 1,500 “accidentally” locked out of the caucus!  But the RNC says whatever, and the win goes to Romney who gets 25.  Problem – those 1,500 people could have changed second place though.  With only a 500 vote difference between Paul and Santorum, it could have gone either way.  Paul comes in second with 8 and Santorum gets 7.

Wyoming: (Crazy Caucus State who had it together)  Romney wins and gets 10 delegates, Santorum gets 9, Paul gets 6, and Gingrich gets 6.

For the Conclusion:

Candidates:

Romney:  207 total: 184 pledged, 23 unpledged

Santorum:  86 total:  85 pledged, 1 unpledged

Paul:  46 total

Gingrich:  39 total: 35 pledged, 4 unpledged

States:

Good to Go:  Arizona, Colorado, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Washington, Wyoming

Still working on it:  Florida and Iowa

There you have it folks – the rundown is done, and after a bag of Peanut M&M’s, two cups of coffee, and a few clumps of hair now inexplicably on my desk, enjoy!

...where can I get a drink? 

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